insomnia.

I have insomnia lately. Don't ask why because I have no idea. My fellow insomniac partner and best friend, Erin, is nowhere to be found online, so in a rather pathetic act of desperation, I've decided to revive this very dead blog. I want to attempt a new direction for this blog. "Attempt" being the key word. The fashion industry and fashion blogs have annoyed me to no end as of late. I'm sick of the shallow imbeciles and their banter about insignificant business -- most of which is just regurgitating what their peers are blogging about. Then again, my theory is that most young people around my age regurgitate pretty much anything. I may be guilty of this as well, which is why 2009 is a year of soul searching for me. It isn't quite as daunting as I expected it to be, however I do tend to fall into this dangerous pattern of laziness which gets me nowhere. Oh well.

I ended off 2008 losing everything I started off 2008 with, but this has proved to be quite the blessing in disguise, and I'm actually happier and more carefree than ever. I spent the last month or so of 2008 filtering out a good amount of junk from my life. Burning bridges, if you will. I no longer struggle with trust issues with acquaintances or fair-weather friends. Now March and April is the time for me to pack my bags and fly off to Asia to explore the cultures of Japan, Korea, Taiwan and China. I anticipate a nice and inspiring change from the culture-deprived Orange County and the mindless drones this god-forsaken place has created.

Speaking of inspiration, it just occurred to me why my soul-searching bout has been quite unproductive so far. I'm completely uninspired! The most inspired I feel is when I'm driving when I imagine in my head my next painting. I work myself up and become eager to get home to my sketchbook and paints. But by the time I get home, I never actually even touch my materials! It's frustrating because I just can't bring myself to do anything remotely creative that would have been therapeutic and healthy for me. Drawing, painting, writing, dancing, piano -- nothing! I am so damn lazy it disgusts me sometimes.

Although, to be honest, I must say I really am not all that disgusted with myself. I've been having a blast keeping in touch with and hanging out with my best friends as much as possible, getting to know new friends from my Miss Chinatown alumni network, and just keeping an open mind with the people that are still around me. The latter half of 2008 became a bit dreary for me and my outlook on life was literally killing me. I really have my best friends to thank for saving me.

With that said, happy 2009 to all. I will attempt to sleep now.

the most beautiful thing i've seen/heard in a while.

i'm chuck bass in sequins.

So the sequins trend for this F/W has worked its way into Gossip Girl character Chuck Bass' ecclectic wardrobe. I mean I guess I can't say I'm really surprised, since my vote for best dressed male EVER (as fictional as he may be) has been seen looking impeccable in pieces clearly not made for mere mortals -- such as: plaid pants, a maroon velvet blazer, a white linen suit, bow ties, argyle knee-high socks, and even a purple suit. The list goes on and on, really. But in the next episode, Chuck really outdoes himself in this sequined tuxedo. I've been pondering whether or not I can/should work this borderline obnoxious trend into my own wardrobe, but seeing these photos on one of my favorite blogs ever makes me seriously re-evaluate any previous doubts I had. Totally swoon-worthy and a style inspiration? My kinda guy. (As fictional as he may be.)

P.S. - Was it sad I just listed GossipGirlInsider.com as my favorite blog ever?

as promised.

Goldfrapp's Felt Mountain album definitely makes it on my list of all time favorite albums. Most of you know Goldfrapp as the British electronic group responsible for hits such as "Strict Machine," but to be honest those albums, as great as they are, do no justice in capturing the almost eerie grace and sensuality of Alison Goldfrapp's vocals like Felt Mountain does. This particular song, "Deer Stop," is my absolute favorite and never fails to break my heart each listen. Watching her perform this (even on a tiny YouTube screen)--especially towards the end--makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up every time. This performance is just unbelievable. And just look how stunning she is...

mary-kate.

This video is almost a year old but it somehow never ceases to inspire me.

In more ways than one, might I add.

change isn't here just yet.

R.I.P. gay marriage in California. My friend Jeff Tang wrote a much more eloquent entry about this issue. I think he says it better than I ever could. I'm sure so many of you are thinking to yourselves, "Damn, I guess I should have voted." And to those I say: think hard about your choices, and how you choosing not to be a part of this has just devastated thousands of individuals who just want an equal chance to be happy. I hope this teaches us all what happens when we think of ourselves as one tiny voice in this race, and not as a collective cry for what we believe in.

de young museum, our economy, how it all ties together, and why you should vote for me.

One of my fondest memories was visiting the de Young museum in SF a year and a half ago, and having the pleasure of being there when the Vivienne Westwood exhibition was happening. (I think what contributed to said fondness was the vivid memory of sitting outside the museum on a bench surrounded by the very lovely greenery and being on the phone with Nancy.) Thus imagine my excitement when hearing the Yves Saint Laurent exhibition would be opening beginning of November this year. After discovering the exhibition would be running until April 5, 2009, I immediately made Nancy promise to go with me whenever I get the chance to make my next visit to the bay area. So, if someone could please fly me up to SF some time between now and April 5, 2009 (sooner rather than later), I would greatly appreciate it. My budget is in need of some tightening seeing as how the economy is majorly kicking my company's ass and yet I still managed to add laces, (even more) neutrals, and a beautifully constructed pair of strappy platform heels to my wardrobe today. Ugh, economy.

Which brings me to my next thought: what to wear to the voting polls tomorrow. I think my new heels will have to sit this one out, since I'd like to be comfortable enough to not give up my spot in line and therefore my chance to vote for the future of my bank account. It's all part of my plan. Better economy, more money for me, more money to give precious heels everywhere a nice warm place to call home, more consumer spending, higher demand, create more jobs, higher supply, lower prices, stir more consumer spending, even better economy... etc. etc. I'm so smart it hurts.