likelovehate.

It concerns me how casual people are nowadays with affection. Physically, verbally, intimately, etc. I was never one to be able to kiss or hold someone without some sort of emotional attachment. I guess there was a point in my life where I had the ability to, and therefore power tripped like no other, spiraled out of control and into a serious identity crisis as a result. (I have evidence from countless journal entries on how lost I really was). I even documented the exact moment I snapped out of it...

March 13, 2007
it's weird where our people have come to. to lay in the arms of one person while our hearts are with another. to kiss and touch and feel another person's skin without feeling anything at all. i have not felt anything for anyone in a long time. the minute i get into my car i am over it, surprising even myself. i guess i really am stronger than i thought. i told you the biggest mistake anyone ever made was underestimating me...

Fast forward to 2009 and it seems that so many people around me are still the same way. To be specific, some of the most beautiful words in the English language have lost all meaning because of this casual affection phenomenon. Why?! How is it so easy to say something you don't have any intention of backing up? I have always promised to live my life with meaning, not only in my actions but in every word I speak and every breath I breathe. There are certain words I reserve for those who truly deserve it. If you are a male, believe me, I will NEVER tell you I'm in love with you unless I'm really in love with you. I don't fall in love easily, whereas some people seem to be able to fall in love every 6 months (lucky bastards).

But I digress. My point is, I feel like so many things in life have lost their meaning because they've been completely overused and beaten to the ground. I'm all for good conversation, but some words are precious and need to be reserved for truly special ears to hear. I am not those ears.