asia 2009.

Asia Tour 2009 is finally here. I board the plane in 11 hours. My friend reminded me to blog about my adventures, so I thought I'd start off with what I've prepared:

- Two dresses, five shirts, a coat, a jacket, a blanket, Hai flat iron, etc.
- Toms, Chucks, and a pair of flats.
- iPod AND iPhone, which one might say is completely unnecessary. To those haters out there, I scoff. I scoff in your face.
- New music on my iPod (thanks, Tony. See you in Beijing!)
- International SIM card and unlocked phone (which is not my iPhone, since I was unable to successfully hack it. Fail.)
- A neck pillow for the flight(s).
- My small sketchbook, and three drawing pens. The 0.1 thickness happens to be running out of ink, which happens to be my favorite one, which means I'm kicking myself for being too lazy to make that trip to Sterling Art this past week... ugh.
- 8 GB memory card for my point and shoot camera. And an SLR. Plus chargers galore.
- The latest issues of Vogue and Cosmopolitan. (I don't know why I continue to purchase Cosmo -- I never learn anything new from this mag anymore.)
- Plenty of extra undies.
- A cutie in my purse.
- Vitamin C
- Japanese diarrhea medicine my parents swear by.

serenity.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, & the wisdom to know the difference."

loch raven.

I'm starting to think reeling from the pain of a breakup, no matter how fresh the wound, beats living life without that pain. I told a friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous, how lucky he is to still feel that way about somebody. Because I sure as hell don't.

I am now completely void of emotion. Not counting the very strange and random moments I tear up and even find myself in tears (TV shows, movies, museum exhibits conversations with friends, songs, the aftermath of drunken nights, etc.) These are all circumstances I normally would not have cried under. My emotions are out of whack and I'm starting to wonder if it is a blessing or a curse. A curse because maybe I'm in denial about how fucked up this world and these people and their inner demons really are? Or a blessing because I just cruise on by being unaffected by it all -- still smiling, still laughing, still enjoying each day for what it is?

Who knows, but I know in the end... or shall I say, in the beginning... I know exactly what I'm looking for. That feeling. I don't think many people have been lucky enough to experience that moment yet. In retrospect, I don't recall a moment that even compares to the one that's still etched clearly in my mind. It's sad because I don't think a lot of people recognize that moment or are aware that it's even something that's possible to strive for. But it's there. It was there, and for me, I know it will be again. That moment I met him and the world as I knew it just shattered. Everything I ever believed in and everything I knew about myself, or thought I knew, was promptly blown to pieces.

I always knew exactly what I wanted. I still do. And in that regard, I think I'm incredibly lucky.

my life is now semi-complete.

Last week I finally had the chance to fly up to SF and catch the YSL exhibit. I'm SO glad I made the decision to do so, because it was exactly the push I needed to get me moving forward with the things I'm passionate about in life. I went with my favorite fashionista ever, the lovely Nancy. The two jackets pictured above in particular were incredibly moving. I think we stared for ten minutes straight at these pieces alone. He made these as a tribute to Van Gogh. The photo does NO justice -- when you see these jackets in real life, they sparkle with life as the light hits each meticulously placed bead. Picture millions of glass beads and sequins. I mean, we've all seen embroidery and beading before, but to emulate the bright colors and shading of Van Gogh paintings?? Trying to grasp this concept literally moved me to TEARS. Nancy can vouch for me... I stood there with my mouth open and tears in my eyes, seriously about to cry. Yves Saint Laurent was a genius and true artist for sure. I felt lucky to even stand in that room breathing the same air as these works of art. The emotion I felt in that very moment was overwhelming. It was heartbreaking at the same time to think this man, the last of his kind, is no longer with us. It truly is the end of an era. A moment of silence, please.

2009 new years resolutions.

I know this is a bit late but I figured I should write this down somewhere before I forget:

1. Write/produce a complete song.
2. Get really good at pool.
3. Paint a masterpiece.
4. After 10+ years of dreaming, finally master the art of turntablism.
5. Travel as much as I possibly can.
6. Continue making lemonade out of lemons.
7. As John would say: "Grab life by the horns."

That's about it.